But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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