She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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