I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
