I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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