no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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