hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
