I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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