i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
