I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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