Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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