Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
