I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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