Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.