I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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