I just threw up on my dentist
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize