I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
