that's an acceptable place to lick
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
