so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
