the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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