I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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