I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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