Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
