is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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