There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
