Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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