Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
