We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
