There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
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I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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