my vag is so smooth its legendary
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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