Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
