just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
