me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
