what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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