At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
