Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
