do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
