And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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