i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
