Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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