Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
