what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
