It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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