Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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