i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize