Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
