I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
