I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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