If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
