Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
