Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
