walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
