Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
