This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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