But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
