no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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