Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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