Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
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you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
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i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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