Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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